I was going to comment on all the raccoons I’ve seen dead on the road the past few days. Since Friday, it seems that raccoons are sprawled across double yellow lines and half-in, half-out of roadside ditches everywhere. I don’t recall a time when I’ve seen as many dead coons on the road as in the past few days. Then there comes this story from Florida, about a pack of raccoons mauling a woman:

Lakeland, Florida — A Lakeland woman is recovering from serious injuries in the hospital after sheriff’s investigators say she was “gang attacked” by five raccoons Saturday afternoon.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd says 74-year-old Gretchen Whitted was trying to shoo the animals away from her front door when they suddenly attacked.

“When she fell down, they enveloped her,” said Sheriff Judd in a news conference called Sunday to warn the public of the aggressive raccoons.

I mean, seriously, we have a sheriff calling a press conference to warn the public to be on the lookout for raccoons? That has got to be a first.